woman angry at scale for weight gain

Do You Weigh Yourself Many Times a Day?

Are you obsessed with your weight and appearance? Do you weight yourself multiple times a day? Is a slight change in that number on your scale mean it's a good day or a bad day? If your weight is even a pound higher do you berate yourself and starve yourself for the rest of the day? Are you terrified of gaining weight and fear getting fat?

Are you Obsessed with Your Appearance?

Do you look in the mirror frequently checking your appearance? Do you spend lots of time putting on make-up, changing outfits and worried about how others see you before you go out in the world? For many women, and even some men, obsessing about “your looks” can be fanatical.

self-hatred anger at self in mirror

Self-Criticism

Many women like this are constantly judging themselves in comparison to others. “Do I look fat in this?” Do you feel that you need validation or approval from others? That gets to be very tiresome for others who don’t understand your obsession with body image. It speaks about your personal fragility, a lack of self esteem.

Woman needs approval, validation, do I look ok?

Obsession With Your Weight = Disordered Eating

There is a difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder only in intensity of the behavior. However, an eating disorder is much more serious. It's like slow suicide. You must get help.

Women are Brainwashed and Gaslighted

Women have been brainwashed and gaslighted to believe their value is about their appearance and their weight. This is a feminist issue. From birth when people look at a baby girl and say "she's beautiful" they are starting the brainwashing. Little boys are admired for being strong or smart.

But little girls are strong and smart as well- but society puts pressure on us to be beautiful and thin. How do we accomplish this feat- especially if our genetics has not given us beauty and instead we have a thicker body frame?

Reject Societal Conditioning

Women have to start using language to describe ourselves as competent adults. Thirty year old mothers are not "girls." Black men understand that being referred to as "boy" is insulting. It's time for WOMEN to adopt that understanding and start using appropriate language to describe ourselves as competent adults. The words we use change our belief system, our mindset!

We must reject societal conditioning that make you feel is is necessary to wear make-up. Sure you can choose to do it- but look into your heart and think, "if I go out without makeup am I a lesser human?" 

And yes, it's the same with your weight. The conditioning we've received from birth and throughout our lives makes us feel ugly if we wear a larger size, if we don't have a thigh gap, if we don't have a "heart-shaped butt." We must adjust our belief system and change our mindset about who we are as humans. 

The Problem is Not Weight- It's Your Belief in Yourself

The problem is not with your weight; it’s in your mind. It’s about self-forgetting who you are. You are so much more than what your body looks like. You have a purpose, and a unique gift that you are meant to share with others. When you are focused on that, you are happy, healthy and any weight is a good body weight. Your weight doesn't define you.  

Your self-esteem grows as you reject meaningless concerns about your appearance. You must realize life is not about what you look like – because that always changes. If you are lucky enough to live a long life gravity will change your body no matter what creams, exercise and prayer you use. You WILL get wrinkles. But, your heart and soul are a constant, even as you get older and your body ages and changes.

Obsessing Over Your Weight

As long as you focus on losing weight, depriving yourself, blaming your body, being ashamed of what you look like, your weight issues will continue. If you are obsessed with your body image and weight, you probably won’t even want to hear this. But you MUST stop dieting. You MUST stop focusing on food, and start focusing on ways to love, and accept your body RIGHT NOW. Because the things you resist persist.

It’s the Law of Attraction. And, it’s also what we know about how the brain functions. The habitual thoughts you have create neural networks that affect your physiology, and will prevent your body from “feeling safe.” When you don't feel safe that is stressful and damaging to your body! 

There are many approaches to healing your relationship with your body. EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapping is a very effective tool. I am a licensed HeartMath Coach which is a joy-filled stress relieving activity.

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But the first step is accepting who you are comes with awareness of your thoughts and judgment about yourself.  Start focusing on your positive attributes and your skills - your purpose. Give up your self obsession and start living the life you were meant to live!  I can assure you that it is not about focusing on making yourself beautiful and thin!



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