Insecurity about your body, hating certain body parts and wanting to change your body is the thing that starts us dieting. You learned to dislike your body. You learned it from someone else. Babies and little toddlers don't hate their bodies! You could have learned to dislike your body from your family, your friends, the media or even your doctor. You were gaslighted to believe that having a couple of extra pounds over what the weight charts show is bad. You were brainwashed to believe that everyone should be a certain weight. It's a BIG FAT LIE!
Insecurity is Self-Limiting
If you have insecurity about your body and your weight it can control and limit your life. Your body image, the way you see yourself can be a limiting factor in what you will try to do with your life. It's not about how others see you, it's about what you tell yourself about what you can do.
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've heard women say that they won't appear at places because they think that other people will make fun of them. Many women won't show their photo on social media. They won't apply for a job because of their weight. They won't talk to someone they find attractive because they are ashamed of their appearance! I've heard a woman say she was invited to give a talk but turned it down because of her insecurity about her weight.
So many women are the harshest critics of their own body. I know..... I was like that back when I was so much thinner than I am today. I didn't have a husband who was sensitive or supportive. I was probably wearing a size 12 at the time. I used to get dressed in a closet instead of coming out into the bedroom because I was so insecure about being "fat". I'd call myself a fat cow, describe my "thunder thighs". When I look back at the photos from that time I think I must have been crazy!
I was always "watching my weight" on the scale and restricting "bad" foods. All it did was make me lose weight for a short time, and then watch it slowly creep back on.
I kept putting off looking for a better job until I lost weight. I wouldn't put myself out in the world. I was doing this all to myself. First of all, whether you are truly fat or thin, it doesn't matter. Our own perception of our self is most important. Because truly the most attractive characteristic is self-confidence.
Replace Negative Self Talk
In order to improve your confidence and stop your insecurity about your body and weight it's important to replace negative self talk. You can't just say "I'm not going to stop saying ________". You need a replacement statement that you say instead. It should become a new positive statement that will eventually change your mind about yourself and your body. EFT Tapping can be so helpful when you are replacing negative self talk!
When you have confidence in yourself mean statements from bullies and other mean spirited people will not hurt you.
Supportive People in Our Lives
The poem at the top of the page is a beautiful letter than a husband wrote to his wife who felt insecure about her body.Having a supportive person in your life can make all the difference. But many women don't have a person in your life who loves you because of who you are. They may even tell you to lose weight, or look at other women when they're with you.
This can be the most hurtful experience in your life. But realize this: when someone tells you that you need to lose weight they are not seeing YOU. They are judging you and loving you conditionally. What will happen when you both get older and your body changes? Skin doesn't stay the same and you will probably develop wrinkles. Are they going to cast you aside for a younger version?
Do YOU Judge and Discriminate Against Other Heavier People?
Realize this: if you hate your body because you think you have too much weight and blame yourself for not losing weight, you are judging all others who are fat as well. (Fat is not an insult- it is only a descriptive term). You may think that you are kind, but until you can start accepting yourself you secretly hold other fat people with the same contempt you feel for yourself. This is a tough issue to overcome.
It's time for you to start building your self-esteem. You may even need to seek professional help to get you there. But the most attractive characteristic in a person is confidence.
Men Lose Their Hair
Will you reject your partner if he loses his hair? Because if you do, then you are also in a conditional love -not one that will last "for better or worse", in "sickness and heath". It's time to really assess if you are in a real loving relationship.
Be Your Own Best Friend
You would probably not put up with a friend who was constantly berating you, bullying you or calling your names. Don't do it to yourself. Love yourself like your dog loves you: Fat or thin. Watch your life change for the better as you feel better about yourself.
They may claim that they are trying to "help you". And it's true that they may be brainwashed to believe the diet industry lies about weight and health. So it's important for YOU to get educated about the truth. Being a higher weight does not make you sick or more suseptible to illnesses. You can learn the real facts with unbiased research from this great book (and others) called Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon. (PLEASE read this article to see just SOME of the facts!)
But the fact is that anyone who fat-shames you doesn't really care about your health. They are concerned about your appearance. And it will hurt you until you learn the facts about why some people are heavier than others, and why you have to stop blaming yourself. You must re-learn to accept your body and your self now- Love yourself like your dog loves you- young or old, short or tall, fat or thin!
And remember, until you start at the foundation of the problem, you will never totally mend your diet mentality. The beginning is accepting and loving yourself.
Make sure you get my report to start you down the path to stop stress eating. It will light the way for you!