For many years, all I wanted was to lose weight. I thought, my life will be so much better when I lose 5 pounds. I’d get a husband, I’d get a raise at work; I’d have more friends… It was crazy thinking! My real problem was my low self-esteem about my body.
I guess I thought the one thing I could control was my weight; but boy, was THAT a mistake! But I’d go on a diet, and starve myself to lose weight. I was athletic, playing 3 hours of tennis a day. I didn’t have a lot of energy while I was starving myself; and after I played I had to distract myself from food, because I was so hungry that my stomach hurt. But I was disciplined.
So I lost the 5 pounds. It didn’t get me a husband, it didn’t earn me a raise, or get me more friends. And to add insult to injury, the 5 pounds I lost came back! But now it got to be 6 pounds after the first diet. I had gained an additional punishment pound for dieting. I thought, I must have done something wrong. It had to be MY fault! So I tried another diet plan.Then 6 pounds lost, and regained after a while became 8 pounds.
What was so wrong with me having 5 pounds extra, that I had to starve myself into fitting into a particular party dress? Well, all of the ads promised that I’d be more popular; the guys would like me better… And, not believing that I was good enough the way I was, I ended up in this yo-yo pattern.
Self Punishment: Do You Spanx Yourself?
After decades of fighting my body again and again, and dieting only to gain back the hard fought weight, I look back at the place where it all began. OMG- I was beautiful. I wasn’t an anorexic model that looked like a boy with big fake breasts (that’s the look now, isn’t it?). I was athletic, fit. But I didn’t look the “ideal” girl in the magazines. I tortured myself for nothing, and CREATED the extra weight BY dieting!
In my opinion, the first doctor who encouraged me, a 121 pound 5’6 young woman in her 20s to diet should have lost his license. He should have sent me to a psychiatrist, not a weight clinic. And what did it do, but reinforce my low self-esteem about my body.
DIETING is what starts the slippery slope to overweight for MANY, no MOST young women. It did for me.
So many teens are the ones who I hear say: “I can’t lose weight”.. “I exercise like crazy, I starve myself, I don’t eat; I hate my body; I won’t undress in front of anyone”. I ask them: how much weight do you need to lose? The answer is invariably under 10 pounds. So sad… they are beginning a lifetime of dieting.
Oh, if I could only save them from the heart ache of the future of their lives hating and fighting their body. If I could only help these young women to find the beauty in their souls, the importance of living their purpose, of realizing that they are NOT what they look like- AND that they are already beautiful.
This self-hatred will result in one thing: a body that reflects and is the physical expression – embodiment, of the inner conflict – She will be overweight, and under-healthy, or thin and unhappy. Because it will be a continuing life-long battle if you decide to diet.
Yes, you can dedicate your life to beating your body into submission to be skinny. But it will mean that your life will be focused continuously on doing the things: eating rabbit food without dressing, over-exercising; stuffing yourself into “Spanx” (it’s even the name is a punishment!)
Or you can re-learn to listen to your body’s signs of hunger and satiation- and not eat to stuff your stress and sadness with food that will never fill your empty heart. Two different approaches – and the same goal. AND you can lose weight both ways.
Which one do YOU choose for yourself? Want to learn how to live your life as a normal eater? Learn about the Mentabolism Make-over Intensive Program ™ that will free you from diet hell! Subscribe to my blog/newsletter and get the skinny!
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